27.8.06

Gah

So, something's wonky and I had to make a new blog, so goodbye old blog. FEH! I feel like I'm going to pass out BECAUSE THERE IS NO AIR CONDITIONING ON THIS MO-FO-ING HOUSE. Or in... whatever...

Anyhow, I don't feel like re-introducing myself cuz I know who I am and if you don't, you don't deserve to.

So. Church. Normally I don't have anything against it, but when I'm forced to go multiple times with only thinly veiled lies or whatnot, then I get pissed . But today I struck back. Sort of metaphorically, but that's not a big deal.

Anyhow, I'm not going to go into the whole thing, but it's slightly funny to think of the whole Christianity thing as a metaphor for using the toilet, as it were. Especially when the songs fit.

The sermon today was on divisiveness. I would have been somewhat impressed that they actually spelled and/or pronounced that correctly, if I wasn't being (sort of) called the Devil. The crazy preacher guy was like "You're either good or evil. If you don't serve god, then you're evil. And divisiveness is demonic." So I told my dad that.

Apparently satan has a thing against babies, cuz he wants to ruin relationships... ok so where will he get his minions if people aren't having babies? Oh wait, it doesn't require a relationship to make babies. I almost forgot. Oh yeah, and self will is evil too. "Bad timmy, why did you do your homework instead of reading the bible? 50 lashings!" I'm really starting to feel ill. Oh yeah, and if I touch the offering plate I'll turn into ash. This is just theory but I wouldn't want to prove it. I might get smeared onto peoples' foreheads some stupid wednesday in the spring for some stupid reason.

So more about the songs. They were stupid, so I jazzed them up in my head. It was fun, it kept me from wanting to kill people, and it made me smirk, so I was smirking in church, which made me smirk even more. It was entertaining. Anyhow, I changed some of the words, mostly if I could get a good rhyme out of it. There was this one song where the only words seemed to be "we are many, but we are one body in christ" or something like that. so my version was "we are many, but we are one (excrement) in (colon)" It could have been better, but I was already smirking so I didn't care. Whooo lightheadedness. Gonna go and make sure I don't die or something. Wouldn't want to go to hell or anything.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

yay for logical fallacies!!