ok

Now I remember what I wanted to type- it was when I first got to church, and I had basically just chugged about 21 ounces of diet coke. They were praying (or singing, but probably praying cuz that's funnier) and I wondered what everyone would do if I let a gut-busting burp rip. I would probably end up convulsing on the floor with laughter, and my dad probably would have ended up bursting a gasket (people have those, don't they?).

Speaking of weird bodily happenings, apparently there's a medical sort of guy that attends to my school's athletes when they do something bad, and he said this one kid's spleen was going to explode... only, the person in question only had to use the bathroom. I want a job where I can act creepy (well, he creeps me out and from what I hear, I'm not the only one) and mis-diagnose medical problems and still get paid. It's almost as good as "Spit in your scrambled eggs at IHOP girl." I've never actually met one, but I 'd imagine they're generally surly, have excessive amounts of arm hair, and you never see them during a full moon.

Also, "that's what he/she said" is probably the coolest phrase ever. When used correctly. Otherwise it's stupid. Anyhow. Don't be lame, pass the blame. I wonder what would happen if I decided to campaign for public office, and used that as my slogan? I mean, people couldn't resist voting for me (even bugs are attracted to greatness... which also explains why mosquitos seem to wait for me to go outside and why I spend the summer months as a giant mosquito bite), so all they could do is act enraged, and maybe throw rotten foodstuffs at my headquarters. In which case I would throw partially soddied religious documents back at them, and possibly cackle over a loudspeaker. Yes, I'm starting to like this.

I also know why people don't like clones- you know some dumbtard is going to get one, and then decide to run for president. "What's better than one planet-killing dumbass? Two of them! And his wife likes it too!" Oh. My brain. I fear for the future.